Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Greatest Rivalries

So the Yankees and Red Sox almost renewed their rivalry again this October, but unfortunately that didn't happen. Of Course the Yanks and Sox are the greatest rivals in all of sports, but where do they stand in history? Well, Zeld..in..Da..HOUSE!! is proud to present...

THE TOP SEVEN GREATEST RIVALRIES IN THE HISTORY OF GREATEST RIVALRIES

7. William Taft vs. Theodore Roosevelt
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WT and TR used to be best friends during the glorious days of the Roosevelt presidency. After the second term, Teddy decided it was time to step down and hand the reigns to his numero uno amigo, Willy T. With the Square Deal bringing the US into a new era of prosperity, William Taft decided that he wanted to lead America on a new course of action. But that's not where the rivalry lay, the rivalry lay in one simple question, "Who could possibly look more ridiculous in a moustache?" Well, that is for you to decide.
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6. Dr. Pepper vs. Mr. Pibb


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The battle over who created the greatest alternative soft drink. Pepper holds the medical degree, Pibb never went to college, yet when it comes to great taste education does not matter. All that matters is who can make a waiter's life more aggravating? "Um excuse me sir, you refilled my Dr. Pepper with Coke, could I please have a new one?" Yea that's right. It was Dr. Pepper bitch. Get it right.


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5. Honda vs. Hyundai


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Which inexpensive Asian automaker reigns supreme? Honda of course. But Hyundai has set out to try to change that. Not by making better automobiles, but by alternating Honda's logo ever so slightly so people think they are actually buying a Honda. "Hey, look at my brand new Honda!" "Umm, thats a Hyundai." "NOO!!!"


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4. The Sharks vs. The Jets


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Sorry, i don't really know much about musicals, but i hear their big rivals. From my understanding the CO2 emitted from the Jets pollutes the Shark's watter supply. The Sharks retaliate by biting at the bottom of the Jets aircraft carriers, leaving them no place to land. The Jets drop bombs on Pearl harbor and cause America to enter WW2. Benjamin Franklin invades Vietnam and frees the slaves. And that's where babies come from.


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3. The Palestinians vs. The Israelis


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With the formation of Israel in 1948, The Palestinians were pissed. "It's our land. We've lived here for the past hundreds of years" they claimed. "No, it's our land," replied the Israelis. "Wow great rebuttal, you truly are a master of debate." "Gee thanks!" "That was sarcasm you idiot." "No it wasn't." "Yes it was!" "Explain" "I meant the opposite of what i said." "So you don't actually think I'm a great debater?" "No." "Aw man."


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2. The Yankees and The Red Sox


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Well its hard to call this a rivalry, because the Yankees are 10 times better than the Sox and aren't even in the same league as them in terms of class and talent. For several years the Yanks beat up on the Sox, crushing their hopes and dreams. In 2003 they did it once more, on Aaron Boone's easy home run. in 2004 the Yanks were about to sweep the Sox, but then they saw them starting to cry. Realizing that beating the Sox was like taking candy from a baby, the Yankees and their kind hearts allowed to sox to come back, so maybe just once they could have their moment in the sun. Well the Sox took that opportunity and to this day still don't realize the Yanks let them win. Oh well, it will be another 86 years until the Sox win anyway. And maybe the next time it wont be so pathetic.


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1. Zeld..in..Da...HOUSE!! vs. Get on that Freight Train


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You can be the judge of this one. Be sure to check both blogs everyday for hilarious insight and commentary. Remember, that's azeldin.blogspot.com. Check it every day. More than once. That name again is azeldin.blogspot.com. Please, check it. I'm begging you. I need this for my self esteem. Please help me.

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