Sunday, December 16, 2007

Facebook: Rules of the Game

Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with people and to get to know things about others that one might not already know. Yea, yea, we've all heard that several times already. But what facebook really is is a giant popularity contest. The first to 1,000,000 wall posts and 500,000 tagged pictures is the winner. Some people I feel tho are breaking the rules. But then I realized that there are no rules for facebook. That's why I conceived a rule system for facebook. Here goes:

of the 500,000 tagged photos, no more than half may be tagged by oneself. If you have tagged yourself more than people have tagged you then that is cheating.

No more than three consecutive wall posts or five wall posts in one day is allowed. If you need to have a conversation with someone use a telephone or instant messenger. If that is too awkward than you're not actually friends with this person.

One can only tag themselves in one photobooth album. If one decides to create a second photobooth album, then that is allowed but they cannot tag themselves in it. Go outside and take picture of you having real fun, not pictures of your tongue sticking out and your head out of proportion.

Thank you posts in response to a happy birthday post is allowed. If you are kind enough to wish someone a happy birthday then you may count the thank you post towards your total. However if you wish someone a happy birthday solely for the reason of getting a thank you post then ur a selfish dickhole and that post doesn't not count towards your total.

Friending a random person, in hopes of getting a "have we met" post results in automatic disqualification. That's pathetic.

Commenting one someone else's facebook applications is not allowed. That's the epitome of small talk. You may only comment if it is a really cool application, such as the fairy princess or the wrestling application. Legitimate questions are also allowed.

Count down posts such as "You" "Are" "Almost" "at" "1,000" "Posts!" only counts as one post. Its not clever and does not look cool.

You may only post on your own wall if it is one of the first ten posts, or your mother's life is in mortal danger. No exceptions.

No album may contain more than twenty pictures of the same person. If you are tagged more than 20 times in an album ur a selfish, narcissistic asshole who needs to have a purpose in life other than being the center of attention.

Any rule about photo tagging becomes void if Bob Saget is also in the picture.

Posting on one's wall while in the same room is allowed. However direct eye contact must be made between the two posters. Looking someone in the eye while talking to them is a must, even if it is facebook talking.

Sausage Fests or Cat Parties are not allowed. Don't make me start a boy-girl-boy-girl rule.

Any facebook post congratulating someone getting into college is okay and actually gets bonus points. However if one changed their status to say they got into college and that is how people found out than those posts are not counted to your total.

Any post discussing, or any post in responce to a post about counts as double.

1 comment:

NID2008 said...

You never cease to make me laugh.
-the person who wrote on her own wall to thank people for wishing her a happy birthday