It has come to my attention that earlier this week, war was declared on azeldin.blogspot.com. I was urged to fight, but like Mother Theresa , I do not believe in war. What came as I complete shock to me however, was that the person who declared war on me is someone I consider to be a bit of a father figure in my life. Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this?
“My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” –Jesus
It is no use dwelling on the past. What I need to do now is work on creating a brighter future. My attacker who shall remain nameless but goes by the name of Z/achary L/angdon P/rillaman(the three names being a tribute to another famous trio—John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald and James Earl Ray) was quite displeased with a few of my posts. First of all, I do not know why someone in college (following in the footsteps of Scholar Eli Manning) would even bother to read my blog, but regardless, at 1:14 in the morning he declared war. For starters, he did not like my post about the Navy. He said people who do join the Navy use it as a way to pay for college, because they otherwise cannot afford it. It turns out college is rather expensive. I was fully unaware of this fact, as I have been living with my head under a rock in Alaska for the past eighteen years. Had I known, I would not have used it as a filler post. I no longer find it funny that the two screen names used were “Mike-El-Angelo and Slackwacker77,” a realistic portrayal of the instant messaging youth of America (my screenname is xoxoMonaLisaxoxo). What confuses me however is that if my blog is that unfunny, why did he have to scroll down to the bottom to find a post to comment on? Or why did he copy my idea of a presidential campaign (check his blog entry from 11/6)? The answer is simple: I am the Greatest.
I decline to comment further on the hate crime this man instilled on me (yes hate crime, I once questioned my sexuality, making me a former Q in the GLBTQ triangle) as it stung me quite the wrong way, similar to how a bee would sting me if I happened to be bathing in honey and necture. However this bee sting hurt me emotionally. If he wants to continue to pluck away at my soul then he can feel free, but Confusius once said “Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire,” and unless he thinks he is wiser or more attractive than this man, he might want to refrain from such comments in the future, or else great shame will be brought upon his family.