Sunday, December 7, 2008

Now That's Awkward!

Have you ever noticed that some ways of communication are simply more awkward than others? Well, I think it's dumb, but really it's true. So I've come up with a list, and rated each form of communication on a scale from one to ten, one being awkward like a comma-splice, and ten being awkward like talking to your Uncle Dave about sex.

Communication and Their Ratings

Facebook Message: This is really the least awkward way to get in-touch with someone. It's private, so no one else can see it, and it shows you made no effort to actually talk to them in a prompt fashion. It also shows you don't want anyone to know you ever spoke. Awkward meter: 0.5

Wall Post: Little more awkward. All holds true for the facebook message, except this way everyone knows you have talked. Ratings here depend on the content of the post. For things like, "What's up?" or "I saw you on TV" thats probably about a 1 on the awkward meter. But for things like, "Can you refer me to a gynecologist? My girlfriend may have herpes and I know you had to deal with that," those posts are more like a 9. So watch what you say and it wont be awkward. It's best to know someone before leaving a post on the wall.

Text messaging: My least favorite form of communication. However it is a necessity. How else are you going to communicate with someone if you just recieved their number? By calling? Nooo, thats too awkward. You must text one or twice before a phone call is appropriate. Even if that means your conversation will look like this:

-8:39 - Hey we're all meeting at the Student Center at 9
-8:41 - Which Floor?
-8:42 - Second
-8:44 - Okay I'll cya there
-8:45 - Actually were meeting by the fountain.
-8:46 - Which fountain?
-8:48 - The one by the Science building
-8:49 - The small one?
-8:50 - No the big one.
-8:58 - K I'm here, where are you guys?
-9:01 - Sorry we didn't see you so we left. I guess my text didn't go through :(

Awkward rating: 2

Calling on the cellphone: This merits a graph

As you can see the more times you meet, the less awkward calling is.

Facebook IM: Kind of awkward, maybe a 4 on the awkward meter. But what Facebook IM has done is made AIM more awkward. Now it's become awkward to IM someone on AIM when all you need to do is IM them on Facebook. But I hate facebook chat, so what I do is say "Hey this keeps freezing, whats your sn?" This bumps the Awkwardness rating up to a 4.5, but it's worth it.

Now this next one really only applies to high school.

Calling someone's house: 10. Unless you knew them before you got your cell phone, calling someone's house is extremely awkward and hard to justify.

Now here are a few less conventional methods of communication:

Carrier Pigeon: 6. If you have one great, but between it being outdated and taking alot of effort, it's kinda awkward.

Pony Express: 0. The pony express is never awkward.

Telegram: 8. Hitler used the telegram. Any ode to Hitler is incredibly awkward. If your friends name is Feldman or Rosenstein, you can bump that up to a 9

I hope this helps. And remember, leaving a comment on any one of my posts is never awkward, so feel free to do so. Unless it's negative, thats a 12.


Lizzie T said...

Awesome. I'm especially a fan of the facebook wall post awkward meter.

Anonymous said...

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Aaron said...

Your graph is wrong. It should be a graph that as x (number of meetings) goes to infinity, y (awkwardness) assymptotically goes to 0.

Anonymous said...

I disagree! Facebook IM is at least a 6.